Impossible? nope.

My life has always been, let's say tumultuous.
I have always had health issues, since I was born. Always got any illness that came around, and worse than most other people. I've had a physical disability that left me walking on only the ball of my left foot, Acne galore, eczema, sensitivity to all sorts of things, lactose intolerance, kidney stones... you name it.

I've also always had some sort of emotional turbulence going on. I remember my parents fighting constantly as a small child. I remember TVs being thrown across the room, screaming, hitting... all while hiding in the closet or sobbing on my big brother's bedroom floor from fear. My parents divorced when I was very young. I rarely saw my mom after that, not due to her own choice. She was forbidden from coming to my birthday parties and such. I kind of had to teach myself to be a woman (I still get things wrong that most other woman have known since middle school), including the whole menstrual aspect. I grew up with just my dad, then my step-mom added to the mix in high school, but I never had a close relationship with either of them.

That leads into my relationship woes. I started dating early. Lost my virginity probably earlier than I should have. Dated just about anyone who showed interest. Had sex with them just to feel loved. Typical low self esteem teenage girl with daddy issues. Haha I held on to those issues all the way until I married my exhusband. No one I knew thought I should do it. I'd only known him 7 months, I converted to Christianity for him, he was mentally/emotionally abusive, and bi-polar. I got sucked in, and then got stuck. Had two kids, probably hoping they'd change him and give me someone to love that would love back. Then the divorce and all THAT drama.

I've been through a lot, obviously, and I have only scratched the surface of my life's dramas.


But now... this new era I'm being forced into against my will... This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And my best friend and mommy are both on the other side of the country. Thankfully I have a large support system here with TJ and his family, but it's still hard.
No... I can't give details yet, as I don't even know them all. I'm sure I'll be letting the cat out of the bag soon. Hopefully good news.

Blackbird

My blog title's inspiration comes from the song "Blackbird" by The Beatles. I've sort of come to adopt it as a motto when life gets rough (and BOY did mine get rough in 2010!). I've gone from just singing, hoping to fly, to full-on SOARING through life and it's fantastic.


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Finally, a new beginning!

It's a new start! In the recent (-5 years) past I was forced to shut down and delete my former blog. It was hard and very sad, as my blog was becoming very popular, I was on the way to actually making money on it. I had amazing contests going for great products, I had reviews going, I had TONS of followers. Then in a matter of a few weeks GONE. All of it. It was pretty upsetting to have to delete, forever, all of the hard work and life stories I'd accumulated and shared.

But now... NOW my life has had a new start. I've received a new start for not just my life, but the lives of my sons, and let me tell you: It's FANTASTIC. Not everyone gets a chance at a second take! I know this well, and I cherish my life now and where it will be headed. I've crossed the country, remarried, and revamped my friendships to weed out those who truly weren't my friends. Now I can focus on my REAL friendships and work to make sure I give enough to those. I can also focus on my children and bringing them up properly, and work on making sure my new marriage never goes anywhere near the caverns of doom my last one went down into.

Here's to my life's new start, and my blog's new beginning as well! I hope those of you reading can find some enjoyment once I get this going! I have some grand plans, so stick around!

--Sarah <3