I have a problem. I don't let things go. I get sucked right back into drama from years ago far too easily.
I know it's torturous. I know it's negative. I know NOTHING GOOD will come out of it... but I do it anyway.

Why? I don't know. Maybe I like to be a little self-loathing. Maybe I like to feel better about myself because I can see how stupid some people can be. Maybe I LIKE being pissed off at people and holding grudges.

Whatever the reason, I need to learn to LET SHIT GO. Seriously. It's beyond stupid for me to keep doing this to myself. I know it is, but I continue to do it. I continue to live in What If land and wallow in the memory of fights lost.

Some day... some day I hope to finally figure out how to stop doing this.

3,3,3,3

Today Mr and I have been married for 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days.

Here are 33 reasons I can't live without him:

1. He used to sing me "Babe" by Styx over the phone a million years ago.
2. He has the sweetest voice in the world.
3. He loves and compliments my flawed body, ruined by childbirth, as if it were perfection.
4. He always gives me a second "bye" when we get off of the phone. On the rare days he misses it I get so sad!
5. He KNOWS me. Truly more than I even know myself. 
6. He taps his hands and fingers CONSTANTLY. It drives me NUTS but it's such a Mr thing that I would miss so much if it stopped.
7. He loves everything I ever make him to eat. Even if I fail and hate it, he will still eat it! Not that that happens often. I'm a good cook. ;)
8. He loves my kids. LOVES them. They are HIS in his mind. He will do ANYTHING for them and DOES. 
9. He is such an amazing provider for our family. We're a little typical in our gender roles, but it works for us. 
10. We have so much in common musically! We have so few things we don't like that the other likes. I could probably count on two hands anything one of us likes that the other hates. It's AMAZING because music is SO important in our lives. 
11. He has NEVER not been there for me when I needed him. 
12. He tolerates my hatred of the ocean, even though he's a fish.
13. He respects me and my decisions and thoughts.
14. He RARELY questions me.
15. He rubs my back any time I ever ask. :)
16. He is predictable. I know what to expect from him and that is so comforting.
17. He does his man-jobs without complaint! Carrying in the Christmas Tree, taking out the trash, whatever!
18. He brings me anything I ask for, any time. In bed, sitting on the couch sick. Even if I'm just lazy! If I ask him for something he will always just get up and get it!
19. He introduces me to such amazing things! 
20. He tolerates my near-hoarder ways.
21. He is so goofy. 
22. He keeps me grounded and logics me into seeing his way. haha
23. He is SO LOGICAL. It's maddening sometimes, but it's so awesome.
24. He's incredibly smart. 
25. He's a total nerd.
26. He will take us out to do anything I ask. Park? Let's go. Science center? Sure! The city? Why not!
27. He keeps me accountable.
28. He appreciates me and all I do for him.
29. He likes the same candy and desserts as me so we don't have to argue over what to get.
30. He wants the best for our kids and will defend them to the death.
31. He stands up for me and protects me.
32. He's perfectly content to be an introvert with me and just hang out at home all the time.
33. He loves me. Completely, without question. Always has and always will.