Well I started chemotherapy, on June 14. It's been pure hell. I was dizzy (so much so that I couldn't open my eyes and barely could get from the couch to the bathroom) for 4 days straight, went to the MSKCC urgent care (nightmare) got pumped full of fluid and sent home. I've been slightly dizzy since then as well, it hasn't gone away totally yet. I had something like restless leg syndrome, but covering my whole body for 3 days. My vision went wonky for a few days, including aura like with a migraine, even if I had no migraine to go with it. I've had migraines. The anti-nausea meds caused headaches that debilitated me. Lots and lots of heart palpitations. The neulasta shot (given to amp up white blood cell count) made my bones hurt so bad it honestly rivaled kidney stone pain (and I've had 1.6cm stones, I'm not joking), and sent weird throbbing palpitation-like pains throughout my abdomen, up my back and down my legs.
Oh, and did I mention my entire mouth has been covered in sores to the point I no longer have taste buds, nor can I eat almost anything at all since like day 2? Yup. The numbing mouthwash I was prescribed also makes me gag and almost puke because of the undertaste.
This is all aside from the normal chemo stuff like exhaustion (my arms and legs occasionally feel like they weigh 400lbs each) and nausea. Oh, and I'm finally going bald.
And it's all prophylactic. I don't have to do it. So. I might stop. Because it's killing me. It's so much worse than anyone ever thought it would be. My doctors are shocked by how bad it is, but not that sympathetic. They're also impossible to get a hold of. I call first thing in the morning and they call back after hours or the next day. And god forbid I miss the call, then it's another day of waiting. No matter how serious the issue is. I am not a patient, I'm a product. The rest of the hospital/cancer center has been amazing, but this one? SUCKS. I call and ask to speak to the Dr specifically and I get a medical assistant calling me back 7 hours later? Not ok.
So that's where I'm at now. Waiting for Monday to come so the Dr might actually call me back from my request on Wednesday, to talk about quitting. Because I hate this, and I feel it's doing far more bad than good. Considering my Sarcoma Dr assumes I'm disease free already.
