Don't we ALL just want companionship and love?

I came across this post yesterday, and wanted to flesh it out a bit on my own end. So go read it, and come back. Don't worry, it opens in a new window. :)

I really want to encourage you guys to talk to your children more about special needs (Autism, ADHD, Asperger's, etc) aside from the physical needs that are more obvious. Mental SN often go untalked about. Mental health in this country is untalked about in the extreme. Our children need to understand that sometimes some kids can appear to be annoying, or overeager, or loud, or whatever but they really just don't fully understand how to be friends yet and need friends to help guide them. They don't often perceive an outside view of themselves, and so they often commit social blunders.

However, being awkward or not apologizing easily doesn't make someone unlovable. It doesn't mean they should be relegated to the corner forever, alone. They need friendship and love as much as anyone. It's our job as parents to make sure they grow up taken care of, but also that they learn empathy, and that starts young. Teach your children to care for their peers, to look out for them, to love them. Special needs children are at very high risk for bullying (we've sadly seen our share of it at our elementary school), because they are different. They stand out from the crowd and don't always fit into the puzzle well. They don't get invited to the smaller parties. They don't get invited to other kids' homes to play. They don't get asked to be partners for projects. But some of the sweetest, brightest, most good-hearted children/people I've ever met have special needs of varying type.

Before my son was diagnosed with a SN disorder, I was pretty ignorant about teaching my kids about other special needs. I just figured if I taught them to be good people and have general empathy I was doing my job, but I realized that's not enough. I needed to go into more detail, I needed to broaden their worldview much more than I had. I needed to recognize that my kids are intelligent and CAN grasp a lot more of what this world hands them. Because everyone deserves understanding and love. Everyone deserves friends.

And it's up to us to show our children HOW to be friends, even with the unfriendly or awkward ones. Because they're human too, and have many of the same needs we do. Go have a talk tonight with your wee ones. Ask them if they have classmates that act weird, or are too hyper, or don't look them in the eye... Ask them what they think about them. Ask them if they know how some kids' brains don't function the same way and they have special ways of learning or emoting. Remind them of things they struggle with (math, football, social studies, maybe they are hard of hearing) and ask how they'd feel if they had few or no friends because of it. Explain that those SN kids really just want to play and have fun and be friends like their other friends do. Explain that sometimes those are the friendships you will truly treasure because you earned them, and they're not always easy. But sometimes... the rewards are profound. <3